State of mind & Emotional Intelligence

The concept of emotional intelligence is nothing new to me. I came across this way back in 1996. I always felt that I am on top of my emotions. I had carried that myth for more than a decade. What I did not realize in that time frame was that everything fell in place for me and I never was under valued. My friend Benjamin used to say, ‘ You know the true color of people only when you go to them for help and they do not see any conceivable value from the help’. I never fully comprehended that for a long time.

Everything changed in the winter of 2010. I felt undervalued and felt was not recognized for the value. That lead to some rash decisions. In the coming months I found myself more and more in very uncomfortable and indecisive. I was not reacting to the situations the way I would have reacted normally. I was scared.  I was trying to get out of the rut but was not able to get out . It was like a failed software upgrade.

It all changed again one day, when my son casually remarked that I am a very rash decision maker. On probing further he pointed out my rash decisions especially in the winter of 2010. I was stunned that I was not able to see something that was so obvious for my 11 year old. This led to the introspections of sorts. It all boiled down to my state of mind

1. Clinging on to something that has already passed
2. Trying to rebuild the old reality while  facts and ground rules have changed
3.  Bitter about what was lost instead of grabbing opportunities in the front
4. Not daring to define a path for success instead of struggling to get to old ways.

Once I realized, it was like a switch. Suddenly what needs to be done next became very clear. The frustrations subsidized and productivity increased.

Then I realized the value of emotional intelligence. If I had controlled my emotions my mind would not have wandered. The point upgrade to self would not have failed. I believe I had managed to do a point upgrade to self. When I do a major upgrade and succeed then life would change or may be the life would end. see you later

Leave a Reply